I started this post as one of my sex accounts, but I got diverted and so, the original subect will turn up later and I'll leave the rant here, for now.  I expect to get a pasting, but what the fuck, this is what I think.

Sex and The City.  Okay I did watch the SATC series on and off, enough to know their names, enough to want to throw my laptop at Carrie "Are-men-serial-monogamists-or-am-I-just-a-far-too-wealthy-too-much-time-on-my-hands-measure-my-success-by-Manolo-Blahnik-empty-headed-narcissist-who-can't-commit-and-somehow-think-that-makes-me-qualified-to-comment-on-the-world" Bradshaw.  But 2 and a half hours watching them primp and preen and discuss two dimensional men as though any of it mattered!  If SATC is the zeitgeist then Western consumerist capitalism deserves to burn in the ninth pit of hell.

Oh but before that, what about Coldplay? If you took half a pound of bland and mashed with a little dull and sprinkled a soupcon of public schoolboy on top before serving on a bed of smug worthiness, you'd have Coldplay.  All those plinky plonky major chords and nursery rhymes a la Noel Gallagher.  I previously described the current single as like Wings on a bad day, but that's a little harsh on Wings.  No, it's more like Oasis (who are already their own tribute band) watered down with Richard Clayderman...but without the profundity!

And finally The Apprentice.  How come that snake in the grass, back stabbing, know-nothing, arrogant, charmless oik Alex was not fired last night?  He was crap in interview, truly crap. Bland and defensive at best, conceited and smug at worst. Since when has being 24 been the best qualification for a job? As opposed to 23 or 25 or any other age? And as for his shitty little telling-tales-to-teacher trick in the boardroom that deserves a special firing all of its own. Out of a big cannon. Oh and go a buy a razor blade, because you're not half as good looking as you think you are.

Okay. now I've got that off my chest, I'm going to go and have a lie down now in a dark room. I'll be back and nicer later!