Search blog.co.uk

  • House of Cards

    by sexymf Pro @ Monday, Jun. 30, 2008 – 16:59:58

    Saw Radiohead last night. Genius. This resonated. Can't think why...

    I don't wanna be your friend
    I just wanna be your lover
    No matter how it ends
    No matter how it starts

    Forget about your house of cards
    And I'll deal mine
    Forget about your house of cards
    And I'll deal mine

    Fall off the table
    And get swept under
    Denial, denial

    The infrastructure will collapse
    Voltage spikes
    Throw your keys in the bowl
    Kiss your husband goodnight

    Forget about your house of cards
    And I'll deal mine
    Forget about your house of cards
    And I'll deal mine

    Fall off the table
    And get swept under
    Denial, denial

    Your ears should be burning 
    Denial, denial
    Your ears should be burning 
    Denial, denial

    Options:
    Tags:

  • You think?

    by sexymf Pro @ Wednesday, Jun. 25, 2008 – 13:12:35

    I received this beautifully written heartfelt declaration this morning from a stranger. I paste it in exactly as it appeared.  Honestly, why do they bother? Who falls for this crap?

    hello my belove cute _àà
    ,How are you?hope you are fine and in perfect condition of health.i am loving,romantic,fun and kind,i come online to serch for a mature man that understand what true-love and marriage is all about.and I like your profile at (www.blog.co.uk) and will like to establishe a serious relationship with you because after going through your profile,

    i pick interest in you out of billions of people in this world but i hope you will not turn me up side down by my request. In addition, you can contact me directely with
    my email address as to enable us discuss further on this matte.
    (jenniferokoiji@yahoo.com)

    and i can give you my picture and more about me.
    THANKS AND WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST.

    YOURS IN LOVE,
    Miss jennifer_à

    Options:
    Tags:

  • Monthly ration

    by sexymf Pro @ Tuesday, Jun. 10, 2008 – 17:27:57

    We had sex last night. She and I. To a familiar pattern. Too familiar. The last time it was lust-filled, clothes-ripping, up-against-the-table, cum-so-hard-it-hurts was the months after we found out each had been having an affair. That was years ago. Now we're back in the routine, the rut. It's pleasurable, but not exciting. She doesn't like me to go down on her and She won't give me head. But worse still, She doesn't really like kissing (I've not got time to explain this one now). So She doesn't kiss well. I used to think it was me, but after more than 30 (call me Nick Clegg...on second thoughts, don't) liaisons I know it isn't me.

    Not all of my liaisons have been paid ones (enter Bardot stage left) but they all drew from the full spectrum of sexual activity and emotion. Some moments are forever seared on my memory (enter Bardot stage right); virtual pinups in my little tree house brain to call upon as and when.

    I wonder whether She and I will ever experience that high again. Maybe I should come clean and tell Her about my dalliances. That might re-awaken Her. I'm not being serious. After so many years though I don't know what to do. Maybe nothing. Just accept what we are and keep visiting other more lust-filled beds.

    Options:
    Tags:

  • Tagged by SecretsAndLies

    by sexymf Pro @ Friday, Jun. 06, 2008 – 17:34:09

    A first! Never been tagged before. So somebody does love me!

    1. What I was doing 10 years ago:
    Working in a job I loved, living in a house that was wrong, holidaying in Majorca and walking on the beaches looking at the peaches.

    2. What 5 things are on on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):
    Go to M&S for bits
    Finish this f***ing report
    Arrange a date (no not like that...well I don't think it's like that) with a client
    Drink...for tonight is Friday night
    Do this tag thing

    3. Snacks I enjoy:
    Peanuts
    Cashew nuts
    Nuts generally

    4. Things I would do if I was a billionaire:
    Retire
    Then do something useful

    5. Places I have lived:
    Cambridge and Leeds

    I tag:-
    PiP
    VetusMatris
    msfullphat
    phinebooty
    taylor8ash

    Options:

  • Sweetie shop

    by sexymf Pro @ Thursday, Jun. 05, 2008 – 18:23:52

    She knows me rather too well I think.  I sense a visit to the sweetie shop coming on, she said.  And with little in the way of resistance I once more entered the garden of earthly delights. Make that carnal delights.

    Two particular delights for your consumption and delectation....

    I've spoken before about the magnificence of tipping the velvet; the scent, the taste, the feel and most importantly the arousal it engenders.  Yesterday, I possibly got the best response ever.  S has legs that go on forever and henceforth will be known as Charisse (older readers will get the reference, the rest of you go read Wikipedia.)

    Anyway, naked as we were, and having started on a course of 69, I then moved off the bed to kneel alongside, and pulled her by her legs towards me.  She offered no resistance as I pressed my tongue into her, pushing and flicking with firmness and speed against her clitoris.  Her moans told one story. That can be faked, I know. But coupled with the sharp intakes of breath, the white knuckle grip on the bed frame, the ever increasing flow and her pussy's vice like tightening I knew I was taking her onwards and upwards. And she came as she had done when we met before on a sofa on the ninth floor last month.  But unlike then, I didn't stop atop the mirrored sixth floor bedroom to permit her to return the pleasure.  And neither did she stop me. And so the moans turned to blasphemies. And cries. And she came again. But still I continued and still she let me. And this time she was gasping for air and crying to not stop, pleading for more, affirming the ecstasy. This orgasm was the loudest and all her muscles were tensed down her back, through her arms, up her legs to maximise what was exploding in her groin.  Tremendous. A beautiful, bounteous explosion of unmitigated pleasure. I couldn't give her more, my tongue was aching. She would have let me, but I needed to come up for air.  The many minutes she needed to relax her wearied body told the truth of her response. 

    We started kissing and she threw me on my back and headed downwards.  She took me in hand and in mouth and I knew little would be required to bring me off.  But just as I was thinking how I wanted missionary not oral, she was astride me and impaling herself upon me.  And for an astonished moment I thought, what? no condom? And then I realised that somehow between mouth, hand and pussy she had dressed me for dinner and I had never noticed.  Even now, 24 hours later I have no idea how or when  she put the condom on me, but Christ as party tricks go, that will take some beating.  Needless to say it took me only minutes before I was spent, empty, but filled with awe.

    Some experiences add to the sum of knowledge and some just confirm what is already known.  And some become a permanent moment in memory to be relived again and again.  This was an hour like that.  Fourteen less than Bardot and contained in a different compartment. But one for keeps nonetheless. 

    Options:
    Tags:

  • Divert your eyes now if you like SATC, Coldplay or Alex Wotherspoon

    by sexymf Pro @ Thursday, Jun. 05, 2008 – 11:24:10

    I started this post as one of my sex accounts, but I got diverted and so, the original subect will turn up later and I'll leave the rant here, for now.  I expect to get a pasting, but what the fuck, this is what I think.

    Sex and The City.  Okay I did watch the SATC series on and off, enough to know their names, enough to want to throw my laptop at Carrie "Are-men-serial-monogamists-or-am-I-just-a-far-too-wealthy-too-much-time-on-my-hands-measure-my-success-by-Manolo-Blahnik-empty-headed-narcissist-who-can't-commit-and-somehow-think-that-makes-me-qualified-to-comment-on-the-world" Bradshaw.  But 2 and a half hours watching them primp and preen and discuss two dimensional men as though any of it mattered!  If SATC is the zeitgeist then Western consumerist capitalism deserves to burn in the ninth pit of hell.

    Oh but before that, what about Coldplay? If you took half a pound of bland and mashed with a little dull and sprinkled a soupcon of public schoolboy on top before serving on a bed of smug worthiness, you'd have Coldplay.  All those plinky plonky major chords and nursery rhymes a la Noel Gallagher.  I previously described the current single as like Wings on a bad day, but that's a little harsh on Wings.  No, it's more like Oasis (who are already their own tribute band) watered down with Richard Clayderman...but without the profundity!

    And finally The Apprentice.  How come that snake in the grass, back stabbing, know-nothing, arrogant, charmless oik Alex was not fired last night?  He was crap in interview, truly crap. Bland and defensive at best, conceited and smug at worst. Since when has being 24 been the best qualification for a job? As opposed to 23 or 25 or any other age? And as for his shitty little telling-tales-to-teacher trick in the boardroom that deserves a special firing all of its own. Out of a big cannon. Oh and go a buy a razor blade, because you're not half as good looking as you think you are.

    Okay. now I've got that off my chest, I'm going to go and have a lie down now in a dark room. I'll be back and nicer later!

    Options:
    Tags:

  • That was good

    by sexymf Pro @ Tuesday, Jun. 03, 2008 – 16:40:46

    An afternoon distraction.

    The hastily typed word and surreptitiously exchanged message.

    The voicemail ecstasy.

    The desired effect and the desire heightened.

    Tuesday was better than Monday.

    Oh yes.

    Beat that Wednesday..if you can!

    Options:

  • Tell me why

    by sexymf Pro @ Monday, Jun. 02, 2008 – 15:24:23

    Been away

    North of here

    "And I will walk 500 miles and I will walk 500 more
    Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door"

    Okay so I drove most of them and only ran 26.2.  And I didn't fall down at anyone's door. My legs wobbled so and I felt light headed. But I remained upright.  Mind you I was so elated at the finish line, I confess to shedding a moist man tear. The song worked as a mantra towards the end and it's from the right country.

    And now I'm back at the desk. And it's sooo boring.

    Bob, why do I need to tell you why you don't like Mondays? It's bloody obvious. What's to like?

    Options:
    Tags:

  • Training. It's all down to training

    by sexymf Pro @ Friday, May. 16, 2008 – 17:19:25

    I found myself looking at her with fresh eyes.  We were stood talking, drinks in hand, in the kitchen.  We'd met before, seven months ago, but I was out of sorts, and whilst I found her easy on the eye, she didn't pull me in.  But this time, I was in a happier place. The cold has started to lift, work has turned a good corner and weight and fitness are heading in the right direction.  All in all I was in a better frame of mind, a better mental place.  I wasn't after something awesome, or something filthy, just some grown up fun between two consenting adults.  And I'd not played for a while; not this NSA sort of play. A carefree hour with no past and no future, just present fucking tense.

    This speaks to a different part of me. I have an alarming ability to compartmentalise. There's wife, family, home.  It's a good place. A warm, happy place. Comfortable for all concerned. But the sex and the lust have gone for now. There is companionship and there is love. I wouldn't want to lose it and I've give up everything in my double life in an instant to keep it.

    But whilst I can have my cake and eat it, I do...

    But there are two cakes that I eat.  One is rich, moist, decadent and thrillingly naughty. But it's availability is limited; I can't readily escape to the arms of the mistress baker.  The other is more bite-sized and more easily acquired. It doesn't leave a succulent aftertaste, but it satisfies whilst it's there.  This analogy is wearing thin.  Plain and simple Bardot is a real lover, full of desire and lust and fire, but her embrace resides the wrong side of the Pennines, whereas IKEA (as I call the agency) is flat-pack sex (beautiful design, but of no lasting value).

    So I found myself at IKEA again yesterday. Probably no coincidence it was yesterday, Dr Melfi would suggest. My chosen sales assistant was S.  S is 5ft 10, slim, long brown hair. She rides to keep fit and to be gripped by her thighs is to envy the horses.  She told me tales of holidays and sky diving and swimming with sharks and I was in awe of her lust for adrenaline rushes. And then I put the drink down and pulled her close and kissed her.  And as we kissed I ran my hand over her bum and pulled the hem of her tight red dress up so I could feel the soft cheek beneath. She pressed herself in to me, whilst undoing the buttons of my shirt and pulling it off. I returned the favour by pulling her dress off over her head. I couldn't resist sliding the strap of her slip off her shoulder to reaveal her breast, which I fondled before kissing, licking and nibbling her succulent nipple.

    Within moments I was naked and only her g-string remained. Her pussy was wet and she responded to my touch as I slid two fingers along and inside her. "Time for a shower", she said.

    And there, as she pressed me into the cold tiles and the hot water ran down my chest, she slid down to take me in her mouth, maintaining eye contact as she did so. I could have cum. I didn't. She tore a condom open with her teeth, with one hand put it on me, kissing me deeply all the time, and then she turned and bent over, and pulled my cock into her.  With my hands on her hips, while hers kept her balance against the wall, I thrust hard and fast with no means to make the moment last.  Her cunt gripped ever tighter as I screamed out in pleasure and she moaned.  Even after I'd cum, I kept thrusting as her grip hadn't loosened and her moans hadn't abated. She turned and kissed me passionately.  She wasn't done and she wanted me to give her more.  But time was against me and so I will have to return another day. 

    And I reflected later that evening on why IKEA stands apart from all the other agencies in the market. It's there from the moment you land on the website. There's something real about it. It's not tacky, it's professional. It doesn't have seedy lists full of acronyms and euphemisms
    of what each girl does and doesn't do. It has tasteful, stylish, photos and full and detailed pen portraits. And the Madam is honest about the pros and cons of each girl, and ferociously protective of them.  But her secret is that she used to be in human resources, before setting up in business. So she interviews all the girls and rejects 99%. And if they get on her site, then they get coaching and support and feedback. i give Madam feedback and they learn what works.  They get training so to speak.

    So an appointment isn't a lottery. I know that I will spend time with a charming, bright, attentive young woman, who knows her own mind and knows why she's doing this for a job. I always ask them and they always tell me. They are a credit to themselves, each and every one. Whereas I wouldn't say that of any other agency or independent I've seen (although I've only had five non-IKEA experiences). And so the quality is what keeps bringing me back. It's refreshing to spend time in the company of these young women who are a credit to their generation (because let's face it so many of us over 40s think the 20somethings are a bunch of indolent, greedy, amoral narcissistic pleasure seekers with no thought for anything beyond D&G, Jimmy Choo and the next Mini Cooper S).

    So I was weak. I succumbed once more. But I've promised to ration my treats. To keep me in shape for my next Bardot liaison.

    Options:
    Tags:

  • Inside out

    by sexymf Pro @ Tuesday, May. 13, 2008 – 15:58:41

    I am still coughing for England. In fact if I last another three days I'll make the Olympic qualifying time and be able to breathe the Beijing smog to compete in the five day cough-athon; my medal chances are good methinks. This morning I coughed so hard and so loud and so long that my whole body was sucked out of my mouth and i found myself with the insides out and the outsides in...rather like that delightful early scene in The Fly with the ape.

    But I jest, when in fact it's getting me down. I can't focus on work, I can't train properly (for the Marathon...ten days and counting), I've not been blogging and I've not been writing to or for those that deserve better than this flaccid Floydian philanderer.  I don't even fancy a fantasy fuck (and that usually distracts me!).  Oh woah is me.

    Something is needed to stop the coughing and snap me back, before I snap in two.

    Options:
    Tags:

Next page »

Widgets

Last posts

Footer

The content of this website belongs to a private person, blog.co.uk is not responsible for the content of this website.