What the fuck did I do?

Hair has gone. Not all of it, but a significant amount. Three years of long and curly/wavy, gone in an hour. I look more preppy, than fuzzy, more Vampire Weekend...

...than Rafael Nadal...

 ...but 20 years older in both cases!!!

A change is as good as a rest and it's been three years of long hair, but it looks odd when I look in the mirror...who is that man?

It's only because I agree with the sentiments that I show this here. Nothing else. I'm sure you understand.

1. Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with? - Yes

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night? - Afternoon as the evening light fades...but I won't turn it down at any other time.

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on? - I don't sleep on the side I sleep on top.

4. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money? No

5. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath? Yes to both. The shower is a particular favourite.  Cleanliness is next to sexiness I believe!

6. Do you watch/read pornography? Not really. Most of it leaves me cold.

7. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? Depends on the mood, but I probably lean towards preferring someone who takes the lead.

8. Do you love someone on your blogroll? I plead 5th Amendment.

9. Would you choose love or money? Love, obviously.

10. Your top three favourite kinks in bed? What's kinky? One man's kink is another man's norm.  But if it's kinky then being tied up, or tying someone up, blindfolds, threesomes!

11. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually? No.

12. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex? In the sea off a quiet beach in the Aegean Sea.

13. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? On the car hood?!?

14. Have you ever been caught having sex? If you count the passing cars honking their horns

15. Ever been to a bar just to get sex? No.

16. Ever been picked up in a bar? No.

17. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex? No.

18. Had sex in a movie theater? No. Although I did bring her off!

20. Had sex in a bathroom? Of course...where else would the bath/shower of Q5 be?.

21. Have you ever had sex at work? Yes.

22. Bought something from an adult store? Yes.

23. Do you own any sex toys? No.

24. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film? I am on film, but not in a naughty way.

25. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name? No.

26. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse? Well it's clearly sex, but it's not intercourse. 

27. What's your favorite sexual position? From behind, standing, with her bent over the table, end of the bed, back of the sofa (you get the idea). But I like her to ride me too!

28. What's your favorite sex act? As opposed to sex position?  Was this written by a celibate? Well to add to Q27, giving and receiving.

29. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time? in the same room? How can you have sex with more than one person at a time in different rooms?!?! Jesus you'd need a big cock for that!!  But yes I have. In the same room, not yes I have a big cock. Well maybe I do, but not THAT big!

30. How many bloggers do you think will post this meme this week? Who cares!

Last night. Sheffield. A right good seeing to. An eyeful and an earful. Aural so to speak.  I'm talking of the Devonshire Crew, Muse, of course; and they were brilliant. What they lack in personality (Guy Garvey should offer lessons), they more than make up for with bloody loud spectacle.

The day before I made the reacquaintance of an old friend.  She'd been gone for a few months.   But she was back with a bang (and a blow job to boot).  Couldn't keep our hands off each other. And everything else.  Bathroom floors, living room doorways, wetness and hardness combined.  And loads of laughter too.  Fucking perfect....

And there may be the (never thought it possible) return of another who figured so much back in the early days of blog...but I'll be more circumspect this time with my writing if I'm not to bugger it up once again.

Can a grown man have a crush?  Can a mid-life mid youth be distracted by someone who has proffered only a few words and a bit of conversation?  Will he make a fool of himself? Maybe...

She works for another organisation to me, but we're working on a project together.  She's twenty years younger.  I can see no reason why she should pay me the slightest attention, but I am sure that she is doing just that.  Her e-mails are slightly more informal than I would expect when we know so little of each other (and ostensibly I am her boss in this commission).  And that would be that, but the other day I swear she kept extending our chat outside the office even  though she was clearly frozen cold (God, I almost offered her my jacket!) and wanted to get in her car and even though we'd finished talking work and even though I kept providing opportunities for her to finish the conversation.  I asked her if she wanted to join me at the next meeting (and she had every reason to decline), but she said  i would like to come to the meeting with you.   Not I would like to come to the meeting, but I would like to come to the meeting with you.   And now I have her mobile number too and it wasn't hard.

So perhaps she has a crush on me?!?  Hmmm....On Monday we meet again. I will assess her body language and her language and demeanour once more.

In the meantime I think about her far more than is right.  In an escapist, fantasy kind of way.  That feels nice. That's a nice, thrilling sensation.  Been a while since I felt such emotions.  Not since Peach really.  So two years.  Reality would be messy though.  But escapism is a buzz.  Probably never amount to more.   Not even sure what more means in this context.  An illicit kiss would probably be all the thrill I need.

Oh and she runs too.  God, the thought of her in lycra is more than the old ticker can take!!!!

After a few years away from Pearl Jam, I bought this and, well, it's headbangingly, grungily good.  Fortunately they've rediscovered tunes!

Oh and I've got tickets to see Muse in November....wahoo!

And Massive Attack were excellent last week.

Nothing beats having your music in, around, all over you. Music, sex, red wine, cinema, chocolate, cheese and peanuts. But not always in that order!  Bring me these and I will be a loyal and faithful (maybe that's not the right word for me?!?!) servant.  I have my den I escape to and play the vinyl and the CDs loud and feel like a teenager again, but with less angst! 

I feel surprisingly good after the worst two years of my life. About time too. 

Makes me blog less though. Misery is the midwife of words and happiness washes them downstream.

Ranters. Why? Why do they exist? What is the point? Life is too short.

In my job I get people ranting at me occasionally. If you don't want to respond to the questionnaire, just bin it. I know I do. But, no, they ring me up and threaten to sue me for infringing their personal space with my terrorist inspired, bureacratically attired, human-rights infringing nosiness. Not-In-My-Back-Passage (not a place I wish to visit at the best of times) they scream. I agree and then tell them to go back to their banjo-picking and cousin-marrying homestead or their be-moated mansion.

Similarly the blogger with a chip on his (it's nearly always his) shoulder about people he hates, but who have never done owt to him except breathe the same air and piss in the same water pool. If it was Pol Pot or Attila The Hun or Brigadier-General Reginald Dyer then fair enough. But celebrities or bands you don't like are such a boring and easy target. Why waste your ire? I truly don't get it.

Meanwhile...go see Simon Amstell on tour. Bloody hilarious. And buy Elbow's shortly to be re-issued Asleep In The Back. Or watch Brass Eye. Or get naked. Just enjoy the here and now and ignore those who bore you. You protesteth too much. Life is much better when you don't give the bores the time of day.

Just to say, we're in a pretty good place right now.

Thanks to all who took the time and commented previously. That's what is good about The Blog.

More smiles than angst for now.

Mind you this doesn't mean I don't still chase the skirt and go down from time to time. The last (ten days back) was sweet as sugar candy and as tall as the sky, she sang like a siren and tore into me with the strength of a lionness.

Last night I too was at the MEN Arena for the farewell to the Seldom Seen Kid gig.  After 144 shows since the release of the album Elbow have put him to bed so they can go and record sommat new.

This was the fourth of the those 144 for me and whilst a moving occasion probably the least of all the ten times I have seen them since 2001.  Elbow's music is a warm, melancholic, richly detailed, tapestry of emotions which doesn't suit the arena.  They're at their best in smaller venues or oudoors but not in soulless sheds with the acoustics of an aircraft hangar.  Guy Garvey is the most sincere and romantic frontman around and can charm any crowd (and he did yesterday), but his talents are wasted on the corporate airheads who occupy the boxes around the venue, sipping champagne, chatting throughout and adding Elbow to their list of things they've done paid for by KPMG/Shell/RBS along with the soulless drone of Coldplay, the pre-calculated angst of U2 (what were you thinking Guy?), a Manchester derby, the Henley regatta, opera in the park and Ascot.  I wish the corporate twats would fuck off and leave more tickets to those who actually want to see a live music event because, I don't know, perhaps, they like to hear live music. 

So please Guy, Pete, Craig, Mark and Richard promise not to play arenas in future and leave the bankers in their penthouses with their silicone-enhanced blondes and their powder- filled noses.

On the plus side, thank you so much for playing Scattered Black and Whites, Mexican Standoff, Bitten By The Tailfly along with the usual suspects.  And Weather To Fly ("are we having the time of our lives?") and One Day Like This were dewy-eyed perfect.

Usain Bolt is a force of nature, a breath of exhilirating air in the cynical world of sport, a showman and a genius rolled into one. Where were you when he ran 9.58?  We are blessed to witness such a peak of human physical achievement.

Jessica Ennis: I wrote before about how sexy she is, but more importantly she is a true world class athlete. To come back from such an injury and such disappointment to win the World Championship gold in just a year is a remarkable feat.  And she's gorgeous too!!!

 

And talking of gorgeous athletes...

Well you can't blame a guy for dreaming...